Saturday, December 1, 2012

An Open Letter to Mark Buehrle and Damien Cox

Dear Mark,

First off, welcome to Canada! I just wanted to fill you in on a few things about our country. We love our hockey (you'll notice that some folks inexplicably have an affinity for the Toronto Maple Leafs), beer (but you probably knew that already) and hockey (c'mon Gary let's get this season started already!). Popular music exported from our country can basically be described as a literal embarrassment of riches: Nickelback, Avril Lavigne, Justin Bieber, Celine Dion, Michael Buble and the Tragically Hip (though thankfully, they haven't caught on south of the border). 

But let me get back to hockey, or the lack thereof, for just a sec. Please, please, please ignore everything that Damien Cox says. To put it plainly, he's a hack and he represents the uneducated, knee-jerk reacting Blue Jays fans who've deified Cito Gaston. With no hockey to "write" about, he needs to justify his paycheque somehow, so he's directed his misinformed scorn towards you. 

In order to save you the effort, let me come to your defence. If the Ontario pit bull ban is overturned, in no way will it reflect negatively on you or the Toronto Blue Jays. Apparently Cox feels that owning a Labrador and Golden retriever makes him an expert on pit bulls. It's absolute bullshit that he feels the right to get on his high horse and vilify your family before you've even set foot in our country. 

Vilify the owners who train their pit bulls to be aggressive, in fact, vilify all people who want to turn their pets into weapons. It's unfortunate that this sort of person exists, even though the vast majority of pit bull owners are nice folks who train their dog in a loving, family environment. 

Overturning Ontario's pit bull ban isn't going to be easy. It'll take lots of education and enlightenment in order to change peoples minds. If you and your wife are successful, you'll be viewed in a positive light by the vast majority of your city, province and country. Also, it'll give you the chance to adopt a pretty cool nickname - Mark "Pit" Buerhle.

Sincerely,

The Blue Jays Luddite 

PS - Sorry for not updating the blog in a while. Last season was getting waaaaay too depressing...